Happy Movember

Freddy’s answer to Movember:  If you can’t grow it, then glue one on

I feel sorry for men sometimes.  They never know how to get things done.  Even from the beginning, their fecklessness is cultivated.  For example, last month the Girl Guides were out and about, selling cookies for $4 a box.  They were everywhere, especially in front of the liquor and beer stores.  And nobody buys just one box.  And if you want to buy 2 boxes and give them a 10 dollar bill, they never have change, so you end up getting 5 boxes for 20 bucks.  They are sharp and strategic, those little girl guides.  The boy scouts, on the other hand, stand in front of the grocery store selling apples.  For how much, I don’t know.  I grew up in an apple orchard in Quebec, I can’t even bring myself to buy a mercy apple for a good cause.  I did have a conversation with a mother of a boy scout who was standing in front of Loblaws with the saddest box of apples I`ve ever seen.  I couldn`t even pick one, they were all so battered up:

Me:   Why don’t you sell cookies like the girl guides? 

Mother of Boy Scout:  People like apples!

Me:  They like cookies better and they`d sell more.

Mother of boy scout looked at me like I was a monster.  How ironic is it that Eve tempted Adam with an apple and the men can`t even give them away?  Last month, October was breast cancer awareness month.  The ladies kick ass on this project.  They have charity galas, runs and walks, they sell stuff from pink Sharpies to pink SUV’s.  Everyone wears pink, including professional sports teams.  Yes, everybody loves boobs and they are everywhere:  They’re in your morning cereal (at least mine are), on your screen saver in the form of Katy Perry (at least Freddy’s is), millions of them are in your computer just a click away, they’re bumping you in the subway if you stand in the right spot, they’re on billboards, they’re at Banana Republic in cashmere, they’re in your thoughts and in your prayers.  So being “aware” is not that hard.  What is hard is to grasp the concept of “Movember.”  Apparently “mo” is an Australian slang term for “moustache.”  Please.  Put another shrimp on the barbie.  Movember’s M.O. is that by growing a “mo”, you are helping raise awareness for prostate cancer.  Facial hair to prostate….let’s work with it then.  Only some of us can grow a mo but we can glue or sharpie one on.  I’m into it, I’m doctoring my Facebook profile picture with a free iPhone app called “HairBeard Lite” but it keeps coming on crooked.  Maybe the prostate men should have a moustache iPhone app that you pay 99 cents that goes to awareness.  Men have to start thinking like women if they want to raise some money and start selling stuff that people want, especially women because they are the major consumers.  Check ot Movember’s official website here and learn about the cause.  And I have to say, I do love a man in a moustache!

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