My new brokerage:  Core Realty at 747 Queen Street East

Don’t skip this post thinking that’s it’s going to be all about me and my new exciting brokerage that I just joined today.  I promise the next paragraph gets more juicy because it is sweeps month and I’m still trying to get my readership up.  But first this little news nugget:  for a few months, one of the brokers from the show, The Agents, has been trying to get me to give up that hideous ochre blazer with C21 logo on left pocket and join her hip, new boutique brokerage in the heart of Riverside or Leslieville or whatever you want to call it.  But I had just changed earlier that year to join a partnership which turned out to be a disaster and I was left standing alone under a yellow umbrella that matched the blazer.  And the office was in deep, dark, Scarborough, even farther than that area where they sell discount mattresses and electronics.  So finally on Monday afternoon, when I was I at such a dark, low point, I was craving a now extinct KFC Double Down but settling for a Wendy’s Bacon Mushroom Melt, I ran into the two Core Realty brokers in the parking lot.  “Come join us!”  they yelled for the last time.  I figured it was a sign for change, and it’s kind of nice to be wanted.  Anyway, I love everything about the Core Brokerage, it seems like all the best words start with “C”, don’t they?  The office is really styling, the people are so nice, the logo is cool and everyone has the same business cards, there are no embarrassing headshots.  The office participates in a lot of community events AND best of all:  they are going to have me write a blog for their website, which I will keep you updated on.  “Centered Around You” is their motto.

And speaking of centered, did you happen to see Dr. Oz last week?  You know how he loves to keep you hanging during commercial breaks by warning you what you see next will shock your mind and then it’s something lame like sneezing can lead to nosebleeds?  Well this episode was all about the G-spot which totally had my attention.  He showed this device called a We-Vibe, that looked like a rubber clamp and that claimed to stimulate the spot amongst other things.  You can buy these kinds of things on-line, but I like to look, touch, and smell which why I don’t go on dating websites, I have learned the hard way that an aura of crazy is something you can only detect in person.  So off I went on a field trip to Come As You Are:

Come As You Are, 701 Queen Street West

And I’m glad I did because as it turns out, the We-Vibe is a couples toy and I’m looking for solo action.  The sales girl was really helpful because there is a plethora of things that rattle and hum in that place.  I ended up getting a Rock-Chick, which is a thicker version of that We-Vibe.  Their website is under construction so I’m not really sure how to use it, the diagragm on the package makes me sick and I can’t tell what’s up or down.  It’s soft and flexible and kind of fun to play with so I’ll just have to poke and prod until I hit the G-note and my life changes.  But until then, I will embrace my new career change and centre around you!  P.S. I never actually wore a yellow blazer…please.