On the right is my nephew, Arne aka The Secret Chef and on the left is Miss Conception (as Julia Child) aka the hottest piece in town. If you have a party you definitely need to be inviting both these bitches. The Secret Chef cooks for you and you can pretend you did it all yourself, check out his Facebook page here. Miss Conception can come as your date, Adele, check her gallery here. It really is all about Adele, isn’t it? I love her so and really do hope one day she finds some bone that doesn’t let her down so much.

Last night my sister brought us to The Delicious Food Show opening night gala at the Better Living Building at the CNE. There was all sorts food sampling and booze offerings of which you had to work a bit in order to score for free. We did a fine job. Arne has vulture blood and got us to the right station at the right time. The three of us bounced around the venue like we were in a pinball machine. Grape stomping here! Wine tasting over there! Find the stage, the show starts in 10 minutes! There were dancing-girls and boys wearing nothing but underwear and aprons! At one point, Arne got up on the stage and performed Dinner Party Wars with Chef Corbin as host while my sister and I ate pizza and drank wine just like Friday night only with live theatre. I feel like it was all a dream and there really wasn’t free-flowing champagne on a scoop of sorbet with a dollop of bacon jam on top. But I tweeted it out and took a picture so it must have all really happened. I think mixing all the booze made everything seem surreal. I do remember at one point I had a pumpkin flavoured ale in one hand and a honey-infused whisky drink in another. Good times.

This is just a shortie as I have to prepare for my weekend trip to Montreal. The goal is to eat at Joe Beef. They have a new cookbook out which is almost the title of the book I am writing, “The Art of Modern Living” but theirs is called “The Art of Living According to Joe Beef.” I will forgive them after I have consumed their bacon. Here they are. Of course I have a wicked crush on the big one: