Tag Archives: Mayfair Racquet Club

Lust Actually

Rafael Nadal’s quirky habit….it’s charming!

I came across my love of tennis kind of by accident, when I was approaching my Cougarhood.  My friend, JHo, had been encouraging me for years to take up “Welcome to Tennis” at the Mayfair Raquet Club.  “When we’re old ladies, we will play tennis in the morning and drink gin in the afternoon,” she explained.  I didn’t really like gin at the time so this did not appeal to me at all.  “Vodka then, who cares?”  So finally I signed up but it wasn’t because of the boozey apres-match afternoons, it was the little outfit in the window of the Pro Shop.  Stupid Stacey and Clinton from “What Not To Wear” had brainwashed me into thinking that women over the age of 30 cannot wear mini skirts.  Damn them!  My legs are my crowning glory since my hair is not.  I’ve been known to sit with my legs over my head, even my passport photo has a thigh in it.  Tennis skirts are the civilized answer and they barely cover the bum:  No problem, a few more deadlifts and yoga.  So I got the outfit, took the lessons, and the rest is history.  I am a bad player, though, because my optometrist says I have problems perceiving depth of field.  My tennis instructor, however, said I was distracted by the boys, hence the *special* remedial lessons after class.  I don`t play so much anymore, but I love to watch.  I send Freddy to tennis camp every year at Kew Gardens, check out their website here:

Kew Gardens Tennis Clubs

And of course, the highlight of the tennis year is The Rogers Cup at the Rexall Centre at York University.  The men and women alternate between Toronto and Montreal and this year, we have the men.  Last night, my friend, Lorraine and I got to see Rafael Nadal play Stanislas Wawrinka.  Rafa was hot, I noticed he`s not quite as muscle-y as he once was but he still has the best high water booty in all of men`s tennis.  I think this is why he is always digging in the back of his shorts, his high power glutes make them wedge up.  Sigh, I love him.  And what is love… I ponder both in life and in tennis.  Apparently, in tennis, love is l’oeuf which is an egg in French that looks like a zero.  Love means nothing, which is Tennis Canada`s website, click here to find out more.  And in life, love means finding quirky habits like constant ass-picking charming. 

Also what I love about the Rogers Cup is the actual event, you know how I love crowds of people, little freakshows.  Here are some of the sights:

A porn star/tennis player

Inside the VIP tent where the perfect Pimm’s cocktail is made….Pimm’s (a gin-based hooch) with Sprite served on ice with a sprig of mint and you have a “Number One Cup”

And this lady in front of us, who I’m sure drinks a lot of gin in the afternoons has a 30 year old lover!!!  If this is the future of being a tennis lady, I’m in!

And Rafael Nadal:

Isn’t he pretty (hot) in pink?

And post butt-pick:

Bye, bye, Rafa…..see you in two years!

High School Confidential

Christina Hendricks as Joan on Mad Men

Another High School Reunion looms my way.  They keep having them, I can’t keep up.  I’m too old, too tired, and too blind but!  I’m excited to go.  With a little bit of delusional thinking and some Spanx, I am Joan on Mad Men.  So I am going to my gym to whip up a bit, Mayfair Lakeshore Racquet Club (and I am linking  to their website with WARNING:  you have to promise to put the sound off on your computer because they have the most obnoxious song that will you scare half to death…turn it down now…okay…here is the link).  They have a lot of group fitness classes that are actually fun, morning classes alone:  Bootcamp on Monday with Jeff ( this class is gay dancing with dumb bells, or dumb dancing with gay bells, but it is highly entertaining, trust me) , Body Sculpt with Jen (slightly scarey but effective, ahe puts the F U into Fun)  on Wednesday which competes with Spinning with  Amy ( a big dilemma, Amy does freelance bootcamp classes all over Toronto and she is THE best, drop her a line and find out where and when: amy@quantumphysique.ca) , Spinning and Group Power with Tanya on Friday, Spinning with Sandy(brilliant and inspiring) and Yoga with David(my own personal guru)  on Thursdays.  And much more at different times so you can never really get bored.  And if the whole high school “ennui” sets in and if you need a proverbial cig break with the lunch ladies at recess, there is a spa with full services and in the regular change room: a hot tub with jets so powerful, Dwayne Johnson springs to mind:

yes, Dwayne Johnson…aka. The Rock!

Yes, an active imagination and high falutin`fantasy have been propelling me in my forties…oh, and wine also!