What would Jesus do?   I’m sure he’d be out in his groovy sandals with his bunny ears strapped on, passing out business cards at the annual  Beaches Lions Easter Parade on this fine day.  Me? Been there done that.  For two years in a row, I was The Beaches Easter Bunny, and got to put on a Peter Rabbit suit (fantastic, with a waistcoat and boots and a giant head) and sit in a convertible mustang with real agent extraordonaire, Gerry DeClute.  What fun!  I was The Bunny at the end of the parade,waving at the adoring crowds,  on the local news and in the Toronto Star the next day (haha, that’s me in that bunny suit, I’d say to the barrista at Starbucks and the men picking up the recycling the next day).  The second year, something happened.  It was as though the Vegas strip came to the village. There were floats with rap artists (“rap artist”, an oxymoron, I know) and show girls in bikinis!  The killer though, is that there were dozens of bunnies doing cirque de soleil style acrobats giving out i-Pods and Toblerone bars and mingling with the ogling pedestrians.  And I was just another bunny in the same old rented Peter Rabbit suit at the tail end of the extravangaza of the millenium, sitting in the back of an old red sports car driven by old Gerry DeClute in an old tuxedo that should have been rented but one he probably bought for some ReMax awards ceremony at a roller rink…talk about a lunch bag let down…seriously, there can only be one bunny in an Easter parade, who did these imposters think they are?  I quit then and there. What a confusing holiday anyway…feels like Sunday when it’s Saturday, liquor stores are closed, and hot cross buns are dryer than biscotti, what’s the buzz with those?  Furthermore, what kind of religion can concoct such a strange brouhaha of non sequitors?  I’d like to see documentation of the evolution of a crucifiction leading to an egg hunt.  Germany must have been involved somehow….and by the way, question to Cadbury: bunnies don’t lay eggs but they drop brown pellets, what exactly are you trying to sell?  I’m not bitter about my bunnydom, I did do some pre-parade mingling and I did discover everyone loves a parade, especially all things cute: