My loins are on fire. I’ll let you know what happened but first let me share with you my brilliant business idea, and if you steal it, I will go all Winklevoss on you. You know how men go golfing and before they head home, they dip into the Rub and Tug for a little stress relief? Yes, they do, sometimes the guys forget I’m a lady and they tell me things they don’t want their wives to know. Well, something like that should exist for women, we can call it the Swirl and Twirl! I actually thought I was going to get something like that when I went to Body Blitz last winter but instead I was made to wear plastic underwear and sprayed down with a hose like at a car wash. I think that most ladies, after devouring confit-soaked chevre logs at their book club meetings would hit that before heading home. In fact they probably wouldn’t even bother with reading the book at all.
As for me, a LOCA (lady of a certain age), I have to go to far more obtuse measures to bitch slap my mojo out of the Snuggie and off the couch. Last night my friend and I went to Quad East, click here for more info, an indoor cycling studio for a good old fashioned spin class. Now I’ve been spinning for 13 years and I even have my teaching certificate, so I can call myself a veteran. I ride bareback in shorts with no lining. This is the first time that I’ve been to Quad and I have to say, it’s the coolest studio I’ve ever been to. It’s spacious with disco balls hanging from the lofty ceilings. Upstairs there is another huge studio space for Pilates classes and the women’s change room is like in an old office with modern showers. The vibe is very friendly, sometimes spinning people can be intimidating in their skintight Spandex outfits, clomping around in their metal soled shoes like they are dressed for Halloween. Quad has the Schwinn bikes, which are my favourite and easiest to use. Lucky for us, the class was headed by Bruce, one of the most dynamic instructors in the city. His voice is like a baritone sexed up Darth Vader and he looks like the UPS delivery man, the one in your dreams who delivers your package every afternoon, come rain or shine. Here he is:
It was a great class and Bruce, let’s just call him the mojo whisperer, did his job superbly. It’s all about cadence and tunes. And as a bonus, Quad East is on that fun block (just west of Jilly’s) where my favourite pub, Prohibition is and where we went afterwards. I did something wild and crazy which was ordered the chicken lollipops (drumsticks) with the hottest sauce known to humanity. They were freakishly hot and my skull felt like warm velvet until I got home. And yes, today the burning ring of fire has kept me housebound for the morning but it’s all good! The embers are still aglow.