My timing is almost always wrong. I’m always a little too early or way too late and ill-prepared. Last Wednesday, I went to the dentist but I was a week early, which means I have to go back tomorrow, ugh. Last Sunday, I was walking Betty by the fire hall and there was a girl guide selling cookies (the mint chocolate ones!) but I didn’t have a twenty on me, which is enough for 5 boxes which is my usual order. When I came back, I was too late, she was gone. I was even born in the wrong decade. I should have been born in the 1940s so I could have been sashaying around in pencil skirts like the real Madmen instead of the fake Banana Republic Madmen which I resent because those sweater sets are not the same without a bullet bra underneath. And if I was born in the 40s I could have been part of the woman’s movement, instead of having to witness its demise by watching the Jersey Shore and listening to any given song by Kanye West. But I am not bitter, I walk the drunkard’s walk of randomness and I will inevitably reach my target.
Last night was a celebration of perfect timing and preparation. It was my pleasure to volunteer as a scrutineer for the Mary-Margaret McMahon campaign on election day yesterday. Sandra Bussin has been our councillor since she defeated the devil-you-know, Tom Jakobek years ago. For some reason, people kept voted her back in maybe because of her ageless Dorian Gray sign recognition. As we know, the real Sandra Bussin does not look like that (see previous post). The people of the Beaches have spoken because they came out in droves to vote. There were line ups at every polling station, the one I was at went around the block. It was like they were giving away Christmas turkeys at Honest Ed’s. And it wasn’t because people cared about the next mayor because that was a choice between a buffoon and another buffoon. I have to say this to George Smitherman: You are a gracious loser but do not wear purple! It makes your teeth look like the colour of a mid-flow urine sample. Anyway, in Ward 32, M3 won with 65% of the votes which is fantastic. And so was the party at the Naval Club on Gerrard at Woodbine. And for once I was in the right place at the right time: free beer and food! Here’s to change and hope!