Tom Berenger in Platoon is like the hangover doula:  Take the pain!

Santa has a list so he can remember who’s been good and who’s been naughty.  The reason why he gives most of his presents to kids is because they don’t have a tendency to get drunk and act like idiots at Christmas parties.  That is naughty.  Tis the season to have a jolly good time and some bad behaviour, that’s what Jesus would do.  I’m always amused by how magazines, newspapers, and talk shows feature ways to stay “good” during the holidays.  Today, Kelly told Regis that in order not to overeat at parties, you *pretend* you’ve already eaten:  “It works!”  This is where it pays to be blond.  I’m going to *pretend* I didn’t hear that and get back to business on the melted Brie wheel.  And then there are always tips on how to prevent a hangover.  Prevention is for amateurs, I say.  A hangover is part and parcel of a rocking good time.  Take the pain.  Embrace your hangover, and then feed it.

Yesterday I had a bad hangover because I had a rocking good time at my neighbours’ Christmas party.  I woke up and my knees couldn’t bend.  This was probably because I was wearing 4 inch high heels (good) and bush squatting (bad).  The list of other wretchedness included:  dehydration, starvation, headache, disorientation, and missing sequins.  I had neglected all the prevention tips, like drinking water and sticking to one type of beverage, liquor before beer, never fear, etc.  I know every hangover has a personality and has to be dealt with some sort of grease chaser and yesterday my hankering was dim sum.  Problem is that dim sum is a group activity and I was in no condition to carry on a conversation.  If I was civilized, I would have gone to Dynasty, which is dim sum heaven, they opened up a new location in Yorkville on Saturday.  Check out their website here.  Instead, I went to T & T Supermarket on Cherry, south of Commissioners, and got two plates of takeout dim sum.  One for me and another for me in case things went awry.  But all went well, washed down with an icy cold Coca Cola, each dumpling slid down like a slippery sleigh ride down colon mountain.  The perfect hangover, I`m sure Santa would approve.

Shrimp dumplings at Dynasty, 69 Yorkville Avenue