“You can have your cake and eat it too by farting the candles out” FilthyRichmond on Twitter
Yesterday was my birthday (yay, me) and my brother sent me some photos of birthdays past. Here I am at age 7, blowing out the candles of my cake, making some kind of wish. I bet it was for a puppy. I did get one a couple of years later but he ran away and got hit by a car (sad!!!!) I still want a puppy but now I want one with a tool belt and not with the bone in his mouth, if you know what I mean. Seriously, I currently have some blue chores around the house: my washing machine doesn’t spin, my dryer doesn’t heat, there’s still a hole in my kitchen ceiling from that leak a few posts ago, and a crack in the door on the third floor. THERE IS ALWAYS SOMETHING!!! When I look at that photo of myself at age 7, I want to tell that little girl to not bother wishing for anything because sometimes when you get what you think you want, it doesn’t really know how to use a power drill at all. If you know what I mean.
One of my birthday traditions since childhood has involved a bucket of KFC. But as you know if you follow the blog, The Righteous Teenage Daughter, has made us seek out happy farm animals for our unapologetic carnivorous ways. So I stick to the one butchershop I stumbled upon in January, The Friendly Butcher on Danforth. They had me at wild boar. So instead of my usual birthday bucket of the Colonel’s mutant chicken, I decided to take the concept of the “Double Down” and recreate it in a more civilized manner. Here is what I did, step by step:
1. Flattened out 3 boneless chicken breasts (they are Mennonite, by the way, so they might not be happy but they are virtuous)
2. Smothered them in plain Greek-style yogurt
3. Rolled them in cornflake crumbs with coarse sea salt and some Cajun rub
4. Baked in oven at 350 for about 40 minutes
5. Lay out 6 wild boar bacon strips in George Forman grill and let it sizzle until the dog went into a frenzy
6. Put two bacon strips on each breast and drizzed with chipotle aioli and folded over like a sandwich-ish
It was messier than the KFC version but way better tasting. As far as I’m concerned, I would put wild boar bacon on my birthday cake if I had one. So I didn’t make yet another futile wish this year. I find just taking matters into your own hands far more effective. If you know what I mean.