My Car, My Self (Fox in Box)

 

         She parks in beauty, in the parking lot

          I can find her anywhere

          Because she is a box

          And everybody else has a BMW

It doesn’t rhyme but who cares, poetry is poetry.  Today I am inspired because I heard two funny car stories that I wish to share before I blather on with my thoughts on water consumption.  First story:  there was a realtor tale about a lady who knows a lady (no seriously, I know the lady and it was in the ladies locker room so it must be true)…anyway the lady-realtor took these clients out to show some houses IN HER BRAND NEW BMW and her clients were not so jazzed by what she showed them but they asked the realtor if they could make a pit stop: “Do you mind if we pick something up before you drop us off at home?”  Not at all, the realtor agreed.  The clients came back with a Christmas Tree!  She drove them home and never heard from them again….she picked needles out one by one, but her car was pine fresh for years afterwards!  She never told her husband.

Second story:  I am at my third laser hair removal session this afternoon….in goggles and hacking up a storm is the technician with the laser gun, zip zip zapping away, telling me the story of her weekend (it’s Wednesday) and how she just came back from Vegas yesterday and she hadn’t slept the whole time…..zip zip zapppp (I could feel it in the base of my skull!) and she is only at my toes.  She says:  “At one point we were drinking in the elevator at 9 in the morning and we ran into this guy who wanted to shoot his gun in the desert so we went in his Hummer and he had $5000 of ammo so we thought we should text my brother his license plate in case he was a murderer so when we looked at his car the plate said: PSKOTIC!”  Oh how she laughed, zip zapp zapping her gun up my leg ….Seriously, whatever happens in Vegas should stay there because it’s not so funny when you are stone cold sober and all you are wearing is a towel and a Marie Claire magazine.  And she was chewing an OXO cube as a lozenge because it was the only thing that would soothe her throat.  I guess I was in Vegas by proxy and I shouldn’t have shared that but you know me.

Back to my other Box:

So, I’ve been reading that kiddie version of  “An Inconvenient Truth” from the last post…okay, I’m looking at the pictures…but water, water water!  I think it’s best to conserve it.  It’s Spring and you and your hose are spraying everything….try not to think of it as an extension of your penis.  Do you know it’s actually more eco-friendly to visit a car wash?  I like the one at Leslie and Eastern, it’s got a Subway attached!  If that’s not a big phallic fantasy, I don’t know what is!

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