My little sea monkey

It’s one week into the New Year and do you know what your colon looks like right now?  I wasn’t so sure until I met this lady in the locker room at the gym who told me that I may have “little living organisms inside.”  According to her, these little beings make you crave sugar.  She explained her theory to me as she undressed and at one point she grabbed her massive gelatinous belly (she won’t read this) and twisted it around and said in despair: ” And they won’t die!  I’ve stopped feeding them wheat and dairy and they still keep growing!”  I didn’t know whether to laugh or be horrified and worry about my own innards.  I pictured the organisms to be like those Sea Monkeys in the back of the comics.  Only my Sea Monkeys weren’t like the ones sitting around playing cards, mine were drunk and angry, they probably looked something like this:

I’m not so sure I want to kill them as they are so cute but maybe I can work them, not feed them so much booze, clear out the white carbs, give them some green tea and antioxidants.  Austerity is not so hard when you are focused on a goal.  As a diversion from all this colon housekeeping, I made an appointment to get my teeth bleached at Glow Tanning Bar & Body Lounge at 9 Isabella.  They use a system called wavelight, check it out here, which is cheaper than the dentist and only took 40 minutes.  Basically you lay under a blue lamp with a mouthguard full of bleaching gel.  Here I am in full meditation mode:

The results vary depending on your enamel, mine came out Benajamin Moore “Cloud White” which is good enough.  Best of all I got this session though dealfind.com for 40 bucks.  In case you are not in the know, dealfind.com sends you a deal of the day and it goes up for grabs for a certain time period.  Check out Living Social, and wagjag for similar deals.  Stay tuned next week for discount Botox!  In the meantime, keep up with your resolutions, stay fierce!!!  And speaking of “fierce”, please check out my righteous teenage daughter’s band Nikki Fierce on myspace…their new song is called “City Water”, click here for the link