Category Archives: go girl

26

Oct. ’10

W32 + M3 – 1 Cow = H*O*P*E

Mary-Margaret McMahon finding out she won (by a landslide) her seat for Ward 32 at the Naval Club

My timing is almost always wrong.  I’m always a little too early or way too late and ill-prepared.  Last Wednesday, I went to the dentist but I was a week early, which means I have to go back tomorrow, ugh.  Last Sunday, I was walking Betty by the fire hall  and there was a girl guide selling cookies (the mint chocolate ones!) but I didn’t have a twenty on me, which is enough for 5 boxes which is my usual order.  When I came back, I was too late, she was gone.  I was even born in the wrong decade.  I should have been born in the 1940s so I could have been sashaying around in pencil skirts like the real Madmen instead of the fake Banana Republic Madmen which I resent because those sweater sets are not the same without a bullet bra underneath.  And if I was born in the 40s I could have been part of the woman’s movement, instead of having to witness its demise by watching the Jersey Shore and listening to any given song by Kanye West.  But I am not bitter, I walk the drunkard’s walk of randomness and I will inevitably reach my target.

Last night was a celebration of perfect timing and preparation.  It was my pleasure to volunteer as a scrutineer for the Mary-Margaret McMahon campaign on election day yesterday.  Sandra Bussin has been our councillor since she defeated the devil-you-know, Tom Jakobek years ago.  For some reason, people kept voted her back in maybe because  of her ageless Dorian Gray sign recognition.   As we know, the real Sandra Bussin does not look like that (see previous post).  The people of the Beaches have spoken because they came out in droves to vote.  There were line ups at every polling station, the one I was at went around the block.  It was like they were giving away Christmas turkeys at Honest Ed’s.  And it wasn’t because people cared about the next mayor because that was a choice between a buffoon and another buffoon.  I have to say this to George Smitherman:  You are a gracious loser but do not wear purple!  It makes your teeth look like the colour of a mid-flow urine sample.  Anyway, in Ward 32,  M3 won with 65% of the votes which is fantastic.  And so was the party at the Naval Club on Gerrard at Woodbine.  And for once I was in the right place at the right time:  free beer and food!  Here’s to change and hope!

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21

Oct. ’10

The End of Bad Hair Days

Please Don’t Do This

Normally I don’t think about politics at all.  I think more about my hair.  I’m in the process of growing it out, by the way.  You know how a woman cuts her hair when she is pregnant or she ditches some crappy man?  Maybe it’s something about change and rebirth.  I’m in the opposite stage, I’m not having a baby and I feel like I’m dying a little every day.  So I’m not going to cut my hair and see how that goes.  And speaking of hair and change, the municipal election is coming up on October 25.  I have some thoughts about the mayoral candidates and reserve the right to change my mind but I definitely know who I’m voting for councillor in Ward 32.  While I am thinking about hair, I am also thinking it’s time for a change.  Let’s just call “hair” a metaphor for political platform and say somebody is using too much hairspray and has split ends and needs a new ‘do, not to mention maybe some Botox (shhh, it’s fine, I’ve tried it, it stops you from squinting and getting headaches and improves peripheral vision) and a new wardrobe while we are at it:

The real Sandra Bussin, as you can see from this picture, even her campaign signs are old

About a month ago, one of the other candidates came to my door and we had a little chat.  Mary-Margaret McMahon had a lot to offer.  She has really good hair.  She actually cares about community spirit.  I liked her so much, I volunteered to help her campaign and I am urging everyone in the hood to vote for her!!!  Please check out her website here:

Mary-Margaret McMahon for Ward 32, the change is going to be good

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18

Sep. ’10

No Rest (or Shwarma) For The Weary

I see Jesus

Some of you have been following me for the last few months and read about how I blithely ate my way down Queen Street, 3 blocks of Gerrard, and various points on the Danforth.  I am East Toronto’s takeout version of “Eat, Pray, Love.”  I’m willing to admit, I think I spent too much time on the “eat” part, it’s time to pray.  I do have an ashram set up in my house, complete with all the game systems and Rogers on Demand, that will help with the meditation part but last week I turned pro-active with the prayer part.  I have bootcamped and grunted with my girl-cush, Amy and aerobicized and walked out with that taskmaster of torture, Jen.  I’ve also yogo’d (?!!! I can’t even explain why he calls it this: spinning and yoga) with David, who is my own personal Jesus, I love him so.  He’s married though, all the good Jesuses are married, gay, or dead.  So far after my first week, I have learned that I am a piece of work in progress, and that while Jesus may love me, he is not *in love* with me.  So I better just do what I’m told and shut up.

I’m already anticipating the third part of my “eat, pray, love” journey.   I came across a beautiful mattress store called essentia at 2180 Queen Street.  I was so tired, I needed to lay down also I am looking for something unique in a mattress that will help with my coccyx condition (I wish)….okay!  I’m looking for a bed I can watch tv in that I don’t have to order from on the Shopping Channel.  Essentia mattresses are made of memory foam without the toxic ingredients which means mites won’t stick around.  They range in thickness and vary from luxuriously soft to my favourite, the fit and firm.  The company is all about quality and the environment, what more can you want?  There’s always more to want and I have found it:  Hello, Lover!  They have a bed called the Flex Drive, that offers full range of motion and you can adjust it with the flick of the wand.  I see tv!

Flex Drive TV Watching mattress

essentia, 2180 Queen Street East

For more information and more locations, click here.

P.S.  you could even eat in that bed without spilling and the shwarmas at Delina’s are fantastic!

Posted by . Categories: Do This Not That, go girl. Tags: , , . 2 Comments

15

Sep. ’10

These Boots Were Made For Laying Around

The best part of Boot Camp, laying down

Boot camp started today.  I joined the army against cellulite so for 8 weeks, twice a week, I will fight my self-imposed war.  Amy from Quantum Physique( click  here for her website) is our drill sergeant.  She runs boot camps all over the city.  This one is in Cabbagetown near Riverdale Farms, I’m keeping the exact location a secret because it is the army after all.  The first day, there were four of us grunts, lunging and squatting, and scuttling like crabs between two pylons.  It’s the opposite of pretty.  Here is the grossest excercise, the burpee, although Amy makes it look easy:

I don’t think I put that in the right order at all but you get the drift.  You do ten of them and it goes against every natural instinct your body has so when you are done, you are shaking and coughing up all your past wrongs….beef jerky is not worth it anymore.  By the way, Amy has up her sleeve a patented little excercise that targets the sweet spot of cellulite refuge in a woman, where ass meets leg.  I’m not going to tell you what it is because in 8 weeks I want you to be jealous of me….will post the before and after!  And tomorrow the fresh hell is Spoga!  Spinning and yoga, then nap with the tv on…by the way check out my new blog here  CLICK HERE!!!

Posted by . Categories: Get out of your comfort zone, go girl, LOCAs gone wild. Leave a comment

09

Sep. ’10

How Now Brown Drink

Whiskey Sour

I feel all displaced now that the weather has gone from sultry hot to cold and freaky and this back to school business is ridiculous.  I’d home school my kids except I’m dumber than them.  Anyway, I’m trying to roll with the times and embrace the cold and the loneliness.  I’m still wearing sandals but that England World Cup tshirt is for the gym only.  The fall wardrobe is still up in the air.  I read in the Toronto Star last week the camel coat was the autumn must-have.  I told this to someone at a wedding on Sunday and they thought I said  “camel toe”…of course they did…but camel toe is always in season.  Enough of fashion.  I do like a change of season  because you can change your eating and drinking habits.  Fruit:  be gone and take your little flies with you.  Vodka, you’re starting to bore me, there are only so many flavours of Vitamin Water to disguise you.  Bring on the gourds and the brown drinks.  Yesterday I made myself a “whiskey sour” while I hunkered down in my ashram to watch Episode 7 of Madmen.  In a flurry of inspiration, I have started another blog call “My Tv Fez” where I will invite discussion of what I watch, instead of just falling asleep afterwards, click here for the link….it’s still a baby so it’s not on google-able yet.  Anyway, Don Draper drinks a lot of Canadian Rye which I think is hot.  Bourbon is good too.  Here is the recipe:

Shot of brown drink (bourbon, rye or whiskey)

Squeeze in a half a lemon

Simple syrup…sugar dissolved in water…to taste and serve it on ice, with or without the cherry

And let the autumn come!

Posted by . Categories: Eat & Drink, go girl, Hanging Around, Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , . 2 Comments

15

Aug. ’10

I is for Inspired

Julia Roberts having a relationship with her pizza in “Eat, Pray, Love”

A couple of days ago my oldest sister called and said, “Let me take you out to lunch for your birthday.  I know this great pizza place on Ossington.”  “Sure!”  I said.  I didn’t tell her my birthday was in May, I just figured she was confusing me with our other sister whose birthday is in August and I am not one to say no to a free lunch.  I brought my daughter, Evangeline, as a diversionary tactic so we could forget whose birthday is whose and the more the merrier.  We met at Pizzeria Libretto, 221 Ossington Avenue, just south of Dundas St West.  Ossington is a happening street, Evangeline and I had been there the week before to check out the Top Shop in Jonathan and Olivia just down the street from Libretto’s.  Oh how we love Top Shop in London where you can shop, eat, and get your nails done, why bother seeing Buckingham Palace?  Anyway, Libretto’s pizza is just like the pizza in Naples.  The crust is thin and soft, and cooked for 90 seconds in a super-duper hot oven.  I ordered sausage with chili oil and upon my first bite, I thought I was eating Indian foode, because the dough was similar to naan bread and then there was the mixture of flavour of fennel and chili.  It was a marriage made in heaven, and y’all know how I love Indian foode.  The others had the classic margherita pizza with an arugula salad and chocolate gelato for dessert.  I am dying to go back now!   That’s the thing about great pizza, more is better.  Then afterwards, Evangeline and I went to see Eat, Pray, Love.  Say nothing, I’m blocking my ears, I don’t want to hear your mocking taunts.  A couple of years ago, when I was part of a book club, one of the books we had to read was EPL and I loved it.  For one, it was easy to read because it was like a magazine article.  Also I had admiration for someone who could leave their life and go travel for a year.  “She’s so self-indulgent!” one of the ladies said.  In case you’ve been on another planet, this book (and now movie) is about a woman, Elizabeth Gilbert, from New York who dumps her husband, screws an actor, then decides to go on a trip for a year:  first to Italy to stuff her face and enjoy eating without having to worry about a muffin top, then to India to pray and find focus and coming to realize that ADD is part of God’s plan, and then to Indonesia to learn to love without losing herself in a man and then ending up in a book club.  And Javier Bardem is hot, hot, hot, hot, hot:

And why do I keep forgetting this?  Oh yes, because he is married to Sea Biscuit.  Meow.  Anyway, I loved the movie.  And Libretto’s.  And so maybe I won’t be going to Italy, India, and Indonesia for an entire year but in a single day I can eat pizza, take a yoga class, and troll the internet on ChatRoulette.  Life is good wherever you are.

Posted by . Categories: Eat & Drink, Field Trip, go girl. Tags: , , , , , , . 1 Comment

27

Jul. ’10

High School Confidential

Christina Hendricks as Joan on Mad Men

Another High School Reunion looms my way.  They keep having them, I can’t keep up.  I’m too old, too tired, and too blind but!  I’m excited to go.  With a little bit of delusional thinking and some Spanx, I am Joan on Mad Men.  So I am going to my gym to whip up a bit, Mayfair Lakeshore Racquet Club (and I am linking  to their website with WARNING:  you have to promise to put the sound off on your computer because they have the most obnoxious song that will you scare half to death…turn it down now…okay…here is the link).  They have a lot of group fitness classes that are actually fun, morning classes alone:  Bootcamp on Monday with Jeff ( this class is gay dancing with dumb bells, or dumb dancing with gay bells, but it is highly entertaining, trust me) , Body Sculpt with Jen (slightly scarey but effective, ahe puts the F U into Fun)  on Wednesday which competes with Spinning with  Amy ( a big dilemma, Amy does freelance bootcamp classes all over Toronto and she is THE best, drop her a line and find out where and when: amy@quantumphysique.ca) , Spinning and Group Power with Tanya on Friday, Spinning with Sandy(brilliant and inspiring) and Yoga with David(my own personal guru)  on Thursdays.  And much more at different times so you can never really get bored.  And if the whole high school “ennui” sets in and if you need a proverbial cig break with the lunch ladies at recess, there is a spa with full services and in the regular change room: a hot tub with jets so powerful, Dwayne Johnson springs to mind:

yes, Dwayne Johnson…aka. The Rock!

Yes, an active imagination and high falutin`fantasy have been propelling me in my forties…oh, and wine also!

Posted by . Categories: Get out of your comfort zone, go girl. Tags: , , , , , . 2 Comments

25

Jul. ’10

One is the Only Number

The Only Cafe, Danforth at Donlands

Last week, one of my friends’ Facebook status read:  “I’m off the Island, it was a rough dive but an easy swim. ”  It’s Toronto in July, everyone and his FB buddy is at some cottage somewhere fighting mosquitoes so I took her message literally.  But then yesterday she IM facebooked me:  “I’m single now, have great stories, let’s go for brunch!”  Yay!  Brunch, I’m in!  You know, I used to hate that word “brunch”, just pick a meal and call it breakfast or lunch, why don’t you?  And then I realized “brunch” is just an polite Anglo Saxon term for drinking booze at breakfast.  Most ladies who brunch in the East End go to Joy Bistro and order a mimosa with Norwegian Eggs Florentine so I suggested going there but my FB buddy, Dolores (not her real name) ixnayed it.  “Let’s get dirty,” she said.  So off we went to The Only Cafe for eggs, sausages, and pints of Wellington.  The Only Cafe is that beacon of colour in that otherwise dreary section of The Danforth near Donlands.  It’s graffiti art on the outside and a mish mash of decor on the inside with an impressive selection of beer on tap.  There’s a patio in the front and a quiet one in the back where you can languish all afternoon and chat away without judgment.  Newly single Dolores talked about her breakup (very exciting except that it turned out that “diving off the island” was just a metaphor) and we also discussed the ramifications of Facebook.  She defriended him but he kept her friends as his friends and since they broke up he makes sure he writes witty comments on their statuses so that she can see them and that way she won’t forget him.  There’s a smart man.   She did keep his relatives as her FB friends because the actual process of defriending someone is a political statement that requires quite a bit of emotional energy.  I hate it when people defriend me (I notice!) but then I’m sure my Farmville activity last spring was unbearable when they were reading their updates, so I try not to take things too personally.  And I have always found it strange that Facebook suggests putting a  relationship status in your profile section.  How bad would you feel if your beloved chose the “it’s complicated” as an option?  If you’re a man, let’s face it,  the only reason you choose “in a relationship” or “married” is because a certain someone p-whipped you into it.  If you’re a woman and you choose the “single” option then people think you have cats.   And some folks get all paranoid about Facebook;  “I’m being stalked!”  Nobody is stalking you, honey, unless they are sitting in a tree looking in your bathroom window, don’t flatter yourself.  If they’re looking at your profile, consider yourself lucky that someone cares.  My motto:  Just keep it light and happy and pretend Facebook is like being out in a public cafe where you conduct yourself in a civilized manner.  And you can play that mutated form of Scrabble called Lexulous!  And post blog entries!

Posted by . Categories: Eat & Drink, go girl, Hanging Around. Tags: , , , . Leave a comment

09

Jun. ’10

I Scream: I Am Not Lactose Intolerant!

It’s Day 8 of the yoga challenge, see previous post and the one before it as I am too lazy to link.  My sense of humour is taking a vacay but my appetite is alive and well and taking charge of the situation.  You know, I thought that over the winter I had become “lactose intolerant” in my Cougar Years because I had a reaction to hot chocolate in Yorkville.  By reaction I mean I had to sprint to Holt Renfrew while my friend was trying on shoes at BCBG a block away because HR has those specially enclosed soundproofed lady stalls that those with IBS and bulimia know about.  The hot chocolate was delish and worth the disruption though and I embraced the idea of being “lactose intolerant” because it made me seem like part of an elite group like the Masons or the Avon Ladies.  But a couple of days ago, I had a hankering for some ice cream and you know me, where the appetite goes, the body will follow.   What ever happened to ice cream?  Is it just me and my cronies, or has ice cream lost some mass popularity over the years?  As a youngster I used to eat it all the time.  Sealtest Heavenly Hash was my poison.  When there was only vanilla, I would take Fry’s cocoa and mix it in.  Then along came Ben and Jerry and I never looked back.  I even visited the factory in Vermont when I was pregnant, just call me Mrs. Chunky Monkey.  I could eat the whole tub.  But over the years I began to think, I best not.  Ice cream and wine don’t really mix, so I gave one up, guess which?  Duh.  In the summer, as a cool refreshing treat, why not have a popsicle instead of ice cream?  Ask my beloved Dr.Oz that question and guess what?  Popsicles have the high fructose sugar that is the evil that made America fat!  Ice cream (maybe not a tub) is the better choice.  So off I went to The Marble Slab at Queen and Lee, a 15 minute walk from home so if anything should happen lactose explodo-wise, there  are 2 Starbucks in my path (crappy coffee, awesome IBS friendly washrooms, decent ginger cookie).  Marble Slab is a chain where they scoop the ice cream up with Popeye’s bicep strength and put it into pint size ice cream containers while you wait.  Normally this would have sent me over the edge, but all that yoga breathing and such has put some patience in me.  You dig, girl, sssscccoooop it up, plop it in and scoop some more. What’s the rush anyway?  I ordered an ice cream cone (deep chocolate) and a couple of milkshakes for the chillen.  There is an option for extra stuff like cake crumbs and crushed up Skor bars.  I find this confusing and surreal.  It’s like putting lime in beer:  grow up, take it as it is.  Anyway, it took a long time but it was interesting.  She put my dark chocolate lump on a marble slab (hence the name) and weighed it.  At almost 5 bucks a cone, I should hope so.  And off I went, eating an ice cream cone like a lady.  Lick. lick, lickity loo.  All the way down the street and home.  No spills of any kind.  I am ready for more.

Posted by . Categories: Do This Not That, Eat & Drink, go girl. Tags: , . 2 Comments

02

Jun. ’10

Think Inside the Box

Day One of the Beaches Bikram 30 Day Yoga Challenge begins today.  This is me:  I ALWAYS say I’m NEVER going do another 30 day challenge and yet ALMOST ALWAYS end up doing it.  Never say never, just sumbit, that’s me from now on.  There is something about putting your name up on a board and then placing a sticker beside every day after each class to mark your completion that makes you feel like as successful as a preschooler who did a boom boom in the potty.  So what is it?  It’s doing 30 yoga classes in 30 days (this month of June), click here for details.  Bikram is the hot yoga in case you didn’t know.  Hot yoga in a heat wave falls into the category of fitness paradoxes (like the cardio fatty who sashays blithely on an elliptical machine and gains weight, Oprah and me).  Why would you do hot yoga in the summer?  Because when you get all wretched and sweaty in a hot yoga class, everything else, including being stuck in a traffic jam without air conditioning, seems like a cool breeze on the Riviera.  When doing a 30 day challenge, there is some preparation needed, emotional and otherwise.  A fresh new Sigg bottle, maybe a new outfit, and yoga matt.  A lot of laundry is involved also.  I have discovered Purex mixed with Borax washed in cold water right after class so the sweat stink doesn’t settle is best for keeping things fresh.  Also I do not use a dryer.  Two years ago, my dryer broke and I have been hanging everything ever since.  Not only am I righteous about it as a speaker of preserving the environment but I have noticed that clothes last longer.  And here is where I got my drying rack and Sigg bottle:

Binz at 1934 Queen Street East

Binz is one of those stores that anally retentive people spontaneously burst their butt plugs with glee when they walk into it.  Their motto is:  “Think inside the Box” which is pretty much my thoughts exactly. It is piled with gizmos and gadgets that organize your life and things you didn’t know you need but when you get it, you wonder how lived without it.  My favourite is the spork (above right):  the spoon that is also a fork!  Binz is expanding their store so more things to behold. I’m planning to organize my closets this summer so I will be shopping there for sure, if I get around to it of course.  That 30 day challenge makes me kind of mellow so we’ll see how that project goes, I’ll keep you posted!

Posted by . Categories: an inconvenient truth, go girl. Tags: , , . 1 Comment